Have you ever sent an email with the best of intentions, only to later realize it landed completely wrong?
Maybe you set up a welcome sequence to nurture new subscribers, only to hear that they felt overwhelmed. Or you carefully built an automation to respect subscriber preferences, only to find out that a tagging mishap meant people who opted out still received your emails.
I get it. I’ve been there myself.
When good intentions go wrong
A recent moment with my daughter drove this lesson home for me. She was having some big feelings, and as a caring parent, I wanted to help. I offered to talk it through. I offered a hug. Neither worked – in fact, they made things worse.
It wasn’t until the next day that I realized where I went wrong.
When my husband later asked me, “Do you want a hug, help, or to be heard?” I felt a wave of clarity. What I needed in that moment wasn’t a solution. It was simply to be heard.
And that’s exactly where email marketing often goes sideways.
The intent vs. impact gap in email marketing
As empathetic business owners, we aim to use email marketing to build relationships, provide value, and engage our audience.
But because email removes the nuance of tone, body language, and real-time interaction, the impact of our messages doesn’t always align with our intent. Add automation into the mix – where decisions are generally programmed in advance – and sometimes things can really go off the rails.
Here are some common places where this gap shows up in email marketing.
Common email marketing missteps (and how to fix them)
1. Welcome sequences that overwhelm instead of welcome
💡 Intent: You want to nurture new subscribers and provide value from day one with an automated welcome sequence.
🚨 Unintended Impact: If you don’t set clear expectations about email frequency, subscribers might feel bombarded and wonder if they accidentally signed up for a daily newsletter.
How to fix it:
- Set clear expectations. Let new subscribers know how many emails they’ll receive and when.
- Test your pacing. If engagement drops midway through your sequence, consider spacing emails out more.
- Offer an opt-out option. Give subscribers a way to opt out completely from your welcome sequence and enter your regular newsletter (hat tip to Yuval Ackerman of Ethical Email Marketing for this idea!)
2. Skipping the welcome sequence entirely
💡 Intent: You don’t like receiving welcome emails, so you assume your subscribers don’t either.
🚨 Unintended Impact: If someone joins your list in the middle of a heavy promotional period, they might feel like they’re being hard-sold without context.
How to fix it:
- Even if you don’t love them, a short and intentional welcome email can set expectations and introduce your audience to your world.
- Segment new subscribers so they receive context before entering a promo sequence.
3. Countdown timers: helpful or harmful?
💡 Intent: You use countdown timers to create urgency for an upcoming deadline.
🚨 Unintended Impact: Some people see countdown timers as a manipulative sales tactic, especially when used for artificial scarcity.
How to fix it:
- Use them only for real deadlines (e.g., a live program starting, a true enrollment close).
- Recognize that countdown timers can be helpful for neurodivergent subscribers who benefit from clear visual time cues.
💡 Want to learn more about ethical marketing for neurodivergent audiences? Check out:
- Ethical Move – A community committed to transparency and consent-based marketing.
- Neurodiversity Media – Resources for accessible and neurodivergent-friendly communication.
4. Automation mishaps that damage trust
💡 Intent: You set up an automation to allow people to opt out of a launch while staying on your main list.
🚨 Unintended Impact: A technical glitch (like an incorrect tag) means they keep getting launch emails—damaging trust.
How to Fix It:
- Test, test, and test again.
- Check automation logs to ensure people are being properly excluded from sequences (for example, when you set up a link trigger inside of Kit – formerly ConvertKit – you can see which subscribers it fired for)
Aligning intent and impact in email marketing
We’re all going to make mistakes—myself included. The real question isn’t if we’ll mess up, but how we respond when we do.
Practical ways to bridge the gap
Test Before You Send
- Always test your emails before launching a new freebie or promotion.
- Have a colleague sign up and test the experience.
- Click every link and check every redirect.
Be Transparent About Expectations
- Tell subscribers how often they’ll hear from you.
- Make your unsubscribe and preference options prominent.
- If you’re running a launch, let people know how it will impact their inbox (and give them an opt-out).
When You Mess Up, Own It
- Acknowledge the mistake and apologize.
- Fix the issue quickly.
- If possible, make it right (e.g., offering a discount for an email mishap).
Bringing heart into automated email marketing
At its core, ethical email marketing isn’t just about sending messages. It’s about respecting the humans behind the inbox.
That means using automation in a way that prioritizes consent. It means making sure our emails align with our audience’s needs, not just our business goals. And it means being willing to listen when something isn’t working.
If you want support creating email systems that respect boundaries and build meaningful relationships, let’s talk. Check out my done-for- you Kit (formerly ConvertKit) services.
